Running On Empty

These past few weeks have been quite rough for me. School has been crazy, and just really time consuming. My mom and i are constantly getting into fights. My mom went in today for eye surgery. She was diagnosed with Glaucoma this year. I'm in this weird time where I'm not sure who my friends are, which is a new weird thing to me. I feel worthless, empty, alone. I'm sure we are all there at some time or another.


But more than anything, I feel like i have lost something.


I have not really lost anything. But in all reality, I have lost everything. I have lost everything. When i made the decision about a year and a half ago to follow Christ, my life was transformed completely. I was suddenly called to change. To live a new life. A life with love and purpose. A life shining with Christ. And to live this way and let all this in, i had to lose a lot. I lost my old way of thinking and reasoning. I lost my old angry and blaming attitude towards life and others. I lost my lying and deceiving. I lost friends. Drinking. Selfishness. Ignorance. Now this turning from my old ways didn't happen over night. It is a slow process, that is still happening...

And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.  - Matthew 5:30


I began slowly cutting the bad stuff out of my life. There's still some there, and there always will be. But after all this "bad stuff" is gone, i am left almost completely empty. Which i suppose is where this feeling of losing something is coming from...See that is good, very good

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.  - Matthew 10:39


I have lost my life in order to save it. But lately i have been discovering something that i know, but have been choosing to blatantly ignore. It hit me extra hard tonight at Leadership. It is this: Christ is the bread of life. If we are not filling ourselves with Christ, then we are running on empty, and spiritually starving. This "food" helps us to do other things, like love our friends and family, and pour into their lives. I'm tired of starving. I am so freakin' hungry it's not funny. God will fill me up, and i will overflow with His love. I just need to let him. It amazes me every day how truly awesome God is!

What have you guys lost recently, or even in the past? Are you letting Christ fill you up?