Just when i thought i was living, I begin to feel like my life is becoming a bit meaningless and empty. 

Now that i have no time or am too exhausted to spend time with God, i regret the times that i was simply just too lazy to do it.

Jesus in a box.

This is my journal entry from 4/26/2011, it's tough cause I've been thinking about this past summer so much, and the upcoming summer as well, but i thought i would share it.


"Three hundred and twenty-six. 
That's the number of days it has been since i arrived at the place that has changed my life. Twice;


Once as a camper.
Once as a work crewer.


I honestly still think about it every single day and i miss it fervently. I just felt so complete there, I felt so close to God. It seemed like he was always present there. Like he lived there. But i think i tried to leave him there. I put my unfathomably big God in a box and left Him there at Rockbridge for the next time I came back. Not as if i knew when that would be...


Now I desperately need to get Him out of that box, but it seems as if I've forgotten how to open it. I sit here everyday and struggle to open it, clawing at it until my fingers bleed. Sometimes i can rip enough open to take small peeks inside, but i find it's hard to see much through my tired, tear-blurred eyes. So i give up, and leave the box for another time, for another merciless day.


It seems that I've forgotten what I wrote in my journal exactly 10 months ago today,


                    "Jesus doesn't just live @Rockbridge."


A simple statement, written in the middle of the page, with no context. It's like He knew i would need that sentence later on. But why do i so often forget it? Why can't i just trust that it's true? And why can't i get this fucking box open?! I just want to feel Him like i did back in June. I just want to feel something. I want my best friend out of that box."

I was going to write a post tonight, but I feel like I've lost all my words. I don't know what to say.

Barack Obama...

...is a Jedi. I knew it. I knew it the whole time!

My feelings written on a McDonald's napkin

I can’t put into words what I’m thinking
Most of the time.
Hanging on the edge, looking out
Over the possibilities and the
Plethora of opportunities that
Exist for my life in its current state.
Lets take a couple steps back now
Examine everything that is
Set out in front of me here.
Something’s telling me I need to
Let my heart win this time,
Yet everything else is saying,
Imagine what would happen if you did.
Now I'm just stuck, with a little over a year
Left to untangle this mess
Of life and love that I'm wrapped up in
Vagueness is settling into the future but
Eventually it all will become clear

you are loved.

You are of so much value. Know you are loved.

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being. Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring. Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived. Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake, 

for all your days are written in my book. Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth 

and where you would live. Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother's womb. Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me. John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry, but am the complete 

expression of love. 1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. 1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs. Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand 

on the seashore. Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you. Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession. Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things. Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires. Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you 

close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. Revelation 21:3-4

And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth. Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being. Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. 1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love. Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. 1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. Luke 15:7

I have always been Father, and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…Will you be my child? John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad

Almighty God

Father's Love Letter used by permission Father Heart Communications 
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