Jesus in a box.

This is my journal entry from 4/26/2011, it's tough cause I've been thinking about this past summer so much, and the upcoming summer as well, but i thought i would share it.


"Three hundred and twenty-six. 
That's the number of days it has been since i arrived at the place that has changed my life. Twice;


Once as a camper.
Once as a work crewer.


I honestly still think about it every single day and i miss it fervently. I just felt so complete there, I felt so close to God. It seemed like he was always present there. Like he lived there. But i think i tried to leave him there. I put my unfathomably big God in a box and left Him there at Rockbridge for the next time I came back. Not as if i knew when that would be...


Now I desperately need to get Him out of that box, but it seems as if I've forgotten how to open it. I sit here everyday and struggle to open it, clawing at it until my fingers bleed. Sometimes i can rip enough open to take small peeks inside, but i find it's hard to see much through my tired, tear-blurred eyes. So i give up, and leave the box for another time, for another merciless day.


It seems that I've forgotten what I wrote in my journal exactly 10 months ago today,


                    "Jesus doesn't just live @Rockbridge."


A simple statement, written in the middle of the page, with no context. It's like He knew i would need that sentence later on. But why do i so often forget it? Why can't i just trust that it's true? And why can't i get this fucking box open?! I just want to feel Him like i did back in June. I just want to feel something. I want my best friend out of that box."